Budde Quits Over Redesign
Chicago, IL -- This Friday, at the site of Pro Tour Chicago and Masters Chicago--in Chicago--Wizards of the Coast staff revealed the greatest change to the face of Magic since WotC eschewed clip art and Times New Roman for paid artists and Magic Medieval. With devilish grins, WotC staff unveiled a new card layout to premiere in 8th Edition. The audience was stunned.
After a fifteen minute introduction to the enlarged card images, medics cared for spectators who had passed out during the unveiling, while armed guards escorted those who had more aggressive reactions out of the venue. The spectators remaining had much to say about the total redesign, including notable Magic celebrities like Kai Budde.
"You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! God damn you all to hell!" were the first words out of Budde's mouth after he saw the new cards. After regaining his composure, Kai clarified his thoughts.
"I can believe they did this to me! After all I've done for them...playing their little game for years! I am a loyal customer and player, and they repay me by turning Magic into Yugiokemon 50,000! I will not take this sitting down. This is definitely the last one of their sad little events I attend. The Magic world will just have to do without Kai Budde...that is, if Magic doesn't die this summer."
Kai then went on to win PT Chicago, taking what would be his last winnings from WotC with his standard grimace. On stage, he upped the stakes for Wizards of the Coast.
"I'd like to say it was good while it lasted. I talked with Dirk [Baberowski] and Marco [Blume], and we're all together on this. We quit. If you guys decide to change your mind about 8th Edition, you know where to find us." Baberowski and Blume then joined Budde as he walked off the stage, giant cardboard check in hand.